Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

-Ethiopian Proverb-

Monday, April 26, 2010

Our 5 Month "Waitiversary"!

Well, it's official folks! As of today, April 26th, we have been waiting to be matched with our little girls for 5 months! I have spent many moments reflecting on what our life was like 5 months ago when "The Wait" officially began. Let's see, 5 months ago would take us back to Thanksgiving day of 2009. We spent a wonderful afternoon/evening at my sister and her husband's house having a gourmet meal and anxiously awaiting the confirmation text message from DHL stating that our dossier had been hand delivered to officials at the Toukoul Orphanage. When we got the message that our paperwork had made it safely there with stops in Oregon, Washington DC, Leipzig Germany, and finally to Addis Ababa Ethiopia, Tony and I experienced feelings of joy and anticipation mixed with relief. It was wonderful to be amongst family when this important compilation of documents that took 4 months to gather, safely reached its intended destination. I have heard horror stories of dossiers being lost during transit, and it was wonderful to not be among those unfortunate few! 5 months ago, you would have found me bubbling over with excitement and optimism. I sincerely believed that I would be one of those people who was relieved to have reached the waiting phase of the adoption process. The paperwork phase was a nightmare, but, I'm starting to realize, I had some semblance of control over our adoption during this time. Compiling the paperwork was daunting at best, but nothing could proceed unless I got off my rear and made things happen. For those of you who know me, I am a person who is a "mover and a shaker", and gathering documents for a dossier was a great opportunity to make things happen. It was a relief to get that last elusive piece of paper into my hands and crossed off my crazy dossier checklist! I thought I had it easy from then on out because my part was done, with the exception of writing checks for outrageous sums of money! This has not been the case in the slightest. I have found waiting to be the most difficult thing of all. I have no control over anything; I live in a state of constant stress,frustration, and fear, and there is nothing for me to do except to wait some more!!!! Distraction has not helped, praying has not helped,talking with my husband has not helped, keeping busy has not helped, and counting my blessings has not helped (although I still count my blessings). I have run out of coping mechanisms! On the occasion of my high school graduation, my lovely sister gave me a Dr. Seuss book called "Oh, the Places You'll Go" as a gift. It's a story about a boy navigating through life with all of its ups and downs, joys, and challenges. I read the book through, and when I was a mere 18 years of age, the part of the story that smacked me upside the head was the part about waiting. Dr. Seuss refers to "The Waiting Place" where everyone is just waiting; waiting for the mail to come, or the rain to go, or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow, etc. Back then, before my life really began, I somehow saw that "The Waiting Place" would be in integral part of my adult life, and it has on so many levels. The nice thing about "Oh, the Places You'll Go" is that on the page following the description of "The Waiting Place", Dr. Seuss goes on to say that "Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying. You'll find the bright places where the Boom Bands are playing." I'm REALLY ready to go to where the "Boom Bands" are playing (whatever those are)!!!!! I think Dr. Seuss has a point here! Some time, somehow, it will end; there is an escape from waiting! I just hope it comes sooner rather than later! If I have to wait much longer, I will find myself transformed into a woman with no fingernails left from constant nail biting, nubbins for teeth from constant teeth grinding and jaw clenching, and a completely gray head of hair! I'm just kidding! For the most part...

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, mama! Writing is a good coping mechanism. Keep pounding your frustration away on the keyboard! Let's talk soon. Love, Barb