Thursday, March 18, 2010
I Think I Need to Work on My Stress Managment Skills!
I was checking my email today not expecting anything from Dove Adoptions, and lo and behold, another "adoption alert" was sent out this afternoon. As soon as I saw I had received an email from them, my heart started racing wildly, and I felt this hot-cold sensation zing through my body. This was all before I even opened the darned thing! I took a deep breath to calm my heart before I opened it, and when I did, it was just a reiteration about yesterday's "adoption alert" written in simpler terms. I guess Dove is having a lot of panicked adoptive parents calling them because the email opened with "We have had several families request clarification about the Adoption Alert that was sent out on Wednesday, March 17, 2010. To help clarify. . ." and so on, and so on, and so on. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of keeping my cool about all of this upheaval going on in the Ethiopian adoption process, but upon further reflection, I realized that perhaps I've been holding all of this stress inside, and I need to talk to more people about my fears of this adoption falling through or the Ethiopian government closing the program. I am the type of person who, and Tony can vouch for this, likes to have a plan B, C AND D if plan A doesn't work out. I caught myself surfing the internet last night searching out other international adoption programs that would work for our family if, for some God-awful reason, this adoption does not go through. Perhaps I need to see the lesson in all of this. Life is about risk and faith, and I try my very best to insulate myself from the pain of risks that do not work out to my liking by looking for alternatives. I need to keep reminding myself that this adoption, WILL work out somehow, Laurel and Willow WILL come home, and I do not always need to jump to the worst conclusions. Do you remember the cartoon character named "Ferdinand the Bull"? Well, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, please read on. Ferdinand the Bull is a bull who loves to smell flowers and abhors violent, aggressive behavior. When he is confronted by a bullfighter who tries to rile him up for a fight, Ferdinand just calmly looks at him and keeps sweetly smelling his beloved flowers. I am the complete opposite of Ferdinand! When I am confronted by difficulties (life's bullfighters), I come out fighting (or want to) by finding any and all alternatives! This reaction does nothing to help my blood pressure! In this case, my "bullfighters" are uncertainty, risk, and the fear and pain of not getting what I deeply long for; more children. I need to remember how Ferdinand handles his bullfighter; he confronts him with a calm serenity. Hummmmm. . . calm serenity. . . Maybe I'll look on You Tube for "Ferdinand the Bull" cartoons so I can watch them as a reminder that I don't always need to come out fighting through the seeking out of alternatives! Thanks for reading the rantings of a control freak!